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[cursedwords]

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[cursedwords]

[ He feels wrung out and tired, he feels horribly undervalued - and he doesn't even think he has value to begin with, but the best he can offer has been rejected. It hurts.

He shrugs. ]

[amethystic]

Things got... a little tense, yeah. Maybe I had bad timing with this.

... You know people got upset because they care about you, right?

[cursedwords]

[ That's the part that doesn't make sense. ]

I don't know about that.

It seems just as likely they're just pissed by what I did.

[amethystic]

Gnosis thinks highly of you, you know. He wants good things for you. And I think Lancelot was trying to care in his own way too. And that means sometimes it manifests in anger. Whichhh is dumb, but, people are people. They're kinda dumb too sometimes.

[cursedwords]

[ He isn't sure why Gnosis believes that he should get nice things. He's happy enough with a warm meal. ]

I'm not doubting you but I don't know why they care about me. There's no reason to.

Especially after I cursed them like that. I could hurt them. I could hurt you.

I should be better disciplined. I will get better.

[amethystic]

Because you're a person, dummy. And one Gnosis, at least, enjoys the company of. One I do too.

[cursedwords]

My classmates are the only ones that feel that way outside of here.

I'm not anything. I was born like this and everyone knows how dangerous someone like me is.

They can't wait for me to die. They will celebrate it.

[amethystic]

They're small-minded fools, then. ... I'm sorry you haven't been truly valued or cared for. And I'm sorry that it's warped things for you.

[cursedwords]

I'm used to it. It's been like this since I was born. Because I was born.

It doesn't bother me. I know where I stand. The moment I flinch, they will come for me. Execute me.

I'm only worth something if I do as I'm told. I can protect you. If I die, it doesn't matter.

[amethystic]

( that's a familiar story, and she hates it. her heart hurts just reading what's said. )

It matters to me. Thats why I want you to communicate more, so we can support each other.

[cursedwords]

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

[ He is like this by design. ]

If I die I will have been glad for what I saw of the outside world.

[amethystic]

What were we supposed to do if you got hurt in there, with no idea where you were or that you even left?

[cursedwords]

I understand that I should've left a message somewhere. I accept that.

I am used to completing all of my missions alone.

Since I started. I'm powerful. I can handle most problems. That's why I have my rank I worked hard to get it. I may seem pathetic now. But I'm not.

I want to protect you all.

[amethystic]

And we want to protect you, in turn. Not because you aren't enough, but because you are.

[cursedwords]

I don't need to be protected.

I'm a sacrifice.